We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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