she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
did you just send me my own nude
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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