How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
