Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
