I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
