so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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