hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
