My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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