It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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