I think my vagina is haunted
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
