Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
