Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
