where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
