You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
