Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize