Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
