Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
