Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize