and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
