he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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