He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
