Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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