you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
