youre lurking in front of me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
honey bunches of taint.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
