Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to calm my uterus...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
