Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
we're so committed to being not committed
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
