i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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