awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
