My first STD was from a foam party
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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