I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize