Sry I called you an 8
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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