Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
