what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
