The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
