I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
