Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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