Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
