Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
