You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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