ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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