Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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