I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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