Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
