why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
