susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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