He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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