i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
