I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
