my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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