Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
