No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm at about main and main street
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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