i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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