it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
