I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
