I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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