maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
