woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
