I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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