Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize