Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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