"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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