ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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