Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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