I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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