you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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