I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
