all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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