Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
