I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
