My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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