Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
