She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
