yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's shark week go big or go home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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