just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
