He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
