Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
