some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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