He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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