so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
